Thank God for Sergio

After two days in transit including a 3am start on Monday and a very scenic flight over huge mountain ranges (who knew?) from Mexico City to Puerto Vallarta, we were just a taxi ride from our home for two weeks in Bucerias. After reading warnings about timeshare scams at airports and KNOWING there’s no such thing as a free lunch (in this case … breakfast) – we nevertheless allowed ourselves to be bribed at the airport to receive:

Free taxi to our accommodation (~US$30)
Free breakfast the next morning at a 5+ star resort (and future Cirque du Soleil theme park) (~US$50)
Free boat/snorkelling tour (~US$75)
Free day pass to aforementioned 5+ star resort (~US$??)
Free taxi from accommodation back to the airport (~US$30)

All the above for “just” …. attending a 1 hour presentation at the resort 🙂 after the free buffet breakfast (best in Puerto Vallarta). More about that later.

So we sold our souls, took the free-taxi ride, paid a US$50 “reservation fee” (to ensure that we were going to honour our end of the deal) and farewelled our new friend Sergio who said he’d be around at 8am on Tuesday morning to take us to breakfast, return my US$50, give us our vouchers etc ….

Arrival at our Airbnb did not go well. It had great reviews and appeared basic but nice on Airbnb but the reality was a touch different. Twelve hours after leaving San Jose in Costa Rica, we arrived to find kitchen window cracked, no WiFi (life-threatening for Jarrah but not immediately critical for me. However, I do need to book airfares to Europe BEFORE we board a flight to USA), TV not working, dirty towel, dirty pots, no hot water, no curtains in some rooms etc. However, most importantly in case that wasn’t enough, the deal breakers were … did not feel safe walking the streets, no grocery stores nearby to buy food, no restaurants close by (in absence of groceries) and 24hr noise!! Cars, motorbikes, kids, frigging FIREWORKS that sounded like gunshots initially (morning, noon and night), fiestas (think loud music, sirens, dancing people, and for some inexplicable reason, a human nativity scene on the back of a ute) – WTF hasn’t it been almost a month since Christmas??, advertising cars (cars driven around the streets with someone shouting adverts into a megaphone – adverts for products/places/god-knows until 10.30pm). We couldn’t wait for Sergio to rescue us in the morning (assuming we were still alive).

The good news is that Sergio DID arrive (yes … you thought we’d seen the last of him you cynical people!), gave me my US$50 back and took us to the resort which was simultaneously impressive and a bit tired and old. Mediocre breakfast with a pushy sales rep (Ralph from Florida Keys) in attendance and so much for the 1 hour presentation … we escaped FIVE hours later after being offered “private resort ownership” (NOT timeshare) for US$137,000 for 1 week for 100 years (?!) and when I repeatedly declined multiple offers (all presented by a different and seemingly more senior person), we were eventually freed with the last offer being a repossessed unit for US$9,900! I must admit, I ALMOST succumbed, the presenter of this offer was a very handsome young Mexican man with THE most gorgeous eyes ever!!

Anyway … it is now 2pm, back at the Airbnb, still no internet (and no contact from Airbnb owner since 6pm last night advising that internet problem is with the internet provider) and we haven’t found anywhere else to stay. Luckily we managed to log into the neighbours WiFi (owners sister) and basically (a) booked the first hotel that was moderately affordable in Puerto Vallarta and (b) sent a message to our newest and bestest friend Sergio – asking him to send a taxi to rescue us (we have no phone and no idea of who to call to get a taxi).

Thankfully, Sergio came to our rescue, taxi driver arrived, nearly killed us en-route (almost sandwiched between two buses), got lost but eventually delivered us to our accommodation for the remainder of our stay in Mexico.

So a fun 48-hours was had by all! Thankfully this was our first real bump in our travels of over a month and more impressively (unbelievable but true) … days since last dummy spit, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day! 🙂

Watch this space for arrival at Fiesta Inn, Puerto Vallarta …