Welcome to the USA

Warning!! Prepare for a bit of a whinge-fest … first of all don’t ever fly with United Airlines. I forgot the pre-flight problems we had last time, same again this time … never again.

Arrived at San Fran airport and was hoping for a better experience than arriving at LA where we were herded like cattle and shouted at like prisoners. Thankfully none of that this time but we did enjoy a 2 hour wait to get in front of a lovely immigration officer. This wait despite being “fast tracked” in the queue as we had an ESTA (thanks to me filling out a ~5,000 question form online before leaving Australia).

An hour into our wait, some poor bastard had got to the front of the queue (2 hours remember) only to be told he was in the wrong line (even though we had all been directed by an officer on exactly where to go) and was pretty much accused of lying when he told them which queue he had been in. So he goes back to the START and the same woman tells him to go to the other side of the hall (meant to be for US citizens only). He’s starting to get a tad pissed off but proceeds to duck under the queuing ropes (instead of having to weave through 10km of now empty lanes) … only to have a THIRD officer sitting at a booth start shouting at him “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!” The poor guy explains that he was told to go to the other side, “WHO TOLD YOU?” I’m half expecting a gun to be drawn at any moment but he’s allowed to continue. Seconds later I hear what is obviously an immigration officer shouting very loudly at god-only-knows-who on the other side of us (we couldn’t see due to the crowds) saying something along the lines of “… STOP!! STOP NOW! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE, IF YOU CARRY ON DOING THIS, YOU’LL BE ARRESTED/DETAINED …” Whilst I was somewhat wide-eyed, Jarrah, who hadn’t been able to hear what was being said, had just heard shouting and had immediately thought “shooter”, so that got her adrenaline going. So far, so good!

When we finally got to the officer, the “conversation” went like this …

IG (Immigration Guy): Are you two family/related?
MM (Menopausal Mum/Me): Yes, mother and daughter (smiling obsequiously)
IG: Why are you here?
MM: We’re on holiday/travelling (still smiling)
IG: Who are you staying with?
MM: No-one, we’re driving a motorhome from San Fran to New York
IG: How long are you here for?
MM: 3 months
IG: What date are you leaving?
MM: 2nd of May
IG: When last were you here?
MM: About 3 years ago
IG: How long were you here for then?
MM: About 2 1/2 weeks
IG: Where’s “the husband”?
MM: (Excuse me??? Fucking WHAT??) Divorced – 14 years ago (SO much I wanted to say but bit my tongue) … (smile starting to turn into a sneer)
IG: Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
🙂 JOKING – what he ACTUALLY said was … What do you do for a job as a single mother that you can travel for 3 months?
MM: (I won’t say what was going through my mind) I’m a mortgage broker (jaw starting to clench)
IG: (Closing passports and handing them back to us) Well done (?!)

We’ve been wondering if he would ask a man travelling with a son/daughter where his wife was and how he can afford to travel for 3 months as a single father?

Despite all this … days without dummy spit …. 1 month, 2 weeks and 6 days!

The happy news is that our luggage was waiting for us given our 2 hour detention and there were no luggage checks so we were straight out. The not-so-happy news is that my glasses broke during our 2 hour stint – looks like I’ll be wearing one-armed glasses for the foreseeable future 🙂

After a lovely but quick dinner we went to bed exhausted – now 11pm local time but 1am body clock time. I thought we may have a bit of noise from the airport which is close by but I needn’t have worried, any noise from aircraft was drowned out by the trains coming past the door every hour, horns blasting and fellow guests shouting, banging doors, dragging luggage, stomping, etc until 1.30am and then starting again at 5.30am.

As expected, temps here are a tad cooler … we’ve gone from 28C to 8C in a matter of hours. Jarrah is still claiming she loves it … we’ll see how long that lasts!